Welcome to this week’s Sunday Post. This feature is brought to you by The Caffeinated Book Reviewer, so swing by after you are done here and get the full list of participants!
- [13 Dec] #SundayPost: December 13th
- [14 Dec] Dream Chaser by Kristen Ashley ★★★★
- [15 Dec] Truth, Lies, and Second Dates by Mary Janice Davidson ★★★
- [16 Dec] Don't Look Back by Christie Craig ★★★
- [17 Dec] The Killer's Shadow by John Douglas, Mark Olshaker ★★★
- [18 Dec] #FreebieFriday: December 18th
- [19 Dec] Christmas themed romances to read!
I have nothing officially planned! I might read some TBR books or try to come up with something creative!
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday! Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! Happy Holidays and I hope you are safe and healthy.
So, I have been having major issues with my panic disorder. Frequent panic attacks that all seemed to be triggered around work. I have finally figured out exactly what the root cause of my fear is: I can’t do my job for 25 more years because of my hearing. I have fabulous, top of the line hearing aids. But, classrooms are loud and chatty. None of that is good for a person with hearing loss. Having to go into other classrooms with kids I don’t know adds to that fear because I know I can’t hear everything. The masks make it extra difficult this year, but even without the masks, I miss a lot of conversations. Hearing aids amplify, but accurately understanding words is still a challenge, especially in a noisy environment.
My first few years of teaching I worked with a wonderful woman (who passed away just a year or so ago). She was significantly hearing impaired and her classroom was a nightmare. She turned her back and the kids went nuts. She had the big, super high powered BTE hearing aids and still struggled to understand what was said. I now know that I will end up in a similar situation. The thought of 25 more years of fighting to do something as simple as hear words my students speak has filled me with terror.
I can continue to teach and end up like my coworker-who was not happy. My panic attacks will continue to increase as well. Or, I can consider a change of career that would be more suited to someone with hearing loss. That means more college, finding a job that would be not working with large groups, and generally just shaking my life up at 41 years old. Just thinking about either option causes the stirrings of a panic attack.
My thought is school psychology. As a school psych, I would be doing a similar job to what I do now (teaching special education), but would be in the assessment/diagnosis stages where I would only work with 1 student at a time. This would allow me to be in a field I am familiar with, but will require 2 more years of school and 1 year of internship. Yep, I would have to take a year unpaid to intern. Cue panic. Also, MORE student loans. I already have 50k. But, I can’t handle the alternative.
Or, I start over from scratch in something else. Something that would allow me to not have to interact with groups of more than 4-5. Honestly, I don’t even know what to consider. If you have ideas, I’m all ears.
On that note, this was to be our last week of school before Christmas break. We went Monday then they shut us down for the rest of the week because we didn’t have enough teachers or bus drivers to stay open. So, Christmas Break started Tuesday! I’m grateful, but I know that when I have to go back in January, I will be facing even more anxiety after all this time off.
Wow-this was longer than I planned. Sorry about that! If you read this far, you are amazing!
So, whats new with you this week? Did you read any of the same books I did? Did you find any great book deals I need to grab ASAP? Let me know in the comments!